the invetiable

It's a question that will haunt me till the end of time; why? Why did this happen or why did they do this? Human behavior is like the weather. We try and predict both. It has happen most this year where i think the person will do one thing and does a complete 180. It's like i have them figured out, but oh wait they decided to have a makeover over night. The most concern is why? If only mind reading existed and wasn't just a tool Hollywood uses to sell tickets.

The reason for all of this is a guy of course. One day they're paying all their attention on me, and the next its like we haven't talked in years. By now I should be use to it since its been going on for about two months, but I can't just turn on and off my emotions like a light switch, but apparently men can. He tells me I am beautiful and the next day nothing. Not a text or a phone call. I ask to hangout and he says yes and then changes his mind ten minutes later.

A change is coming; it feels like it does when its ready to rain, now its just time to wait. I'm ready with my umbrella, for whatever may come.

its all coming out

Assumption, everyone does it. Most of the time it is untrue, but sometimes people are right on target. I am in a dilemma of assuming on peoples emotions. “What are they thinking,” I ask myself. Do I see the signs right, or am I misinterpreting the signs. Are there signs at all or am I just delusional. The fact that I am second guessing my self is not a good indication of self assurance. Do they like me is the question everyone asks one another. Sometimes we miss what is right in front of us. We overlook the good in the people that are right there, always there for us. We are a bunch of toddlers that want something one minute and then something else the next. Where does it end?
When will I be happy with what I have instead of wanting the impossible?

Odd Man Out

I'm that odd man out, that third wheel. That big dance of the year, where everyone gets all dressed up, is coming up. The group of my friends have all their own dates. The one friend that doesn't have one like me was going, but she decided not. I'm that third wheel that everyone will see when we take all of our pictures. The slow songs are what I feel I am going to regret. The fact that all of them have that someone to dance with. I'm not sure what I"m going to do during those 3-4 minutes of agony. There's a change that has happened, and I was not ready for it. The change of teenage infatuation. With them it seems that it is going to last longer, much longer, then most. It seems that they have found their other half for the time being. I've waited and waited for that person, but they seem to be stuck in traffic. When will the light turn green and let them turn the corner?

Why can't we go back to the days of kindergarden. The days were boys were icky and nap time was your only class. Those days went by so fast and it seems that all I do is wish for them back. the simplicity of them was taken for granted. We didn't look for that other half, instead we looked for the next new thing that met our eyes. Always satisfied with what was happening. There was no odd man out, no third wheel, just a group of 5 year olds playing in the sand box. If only, if only...

-UnSpoken